The one who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new."Revelation 21:5a
Behold, I make all things new.
Ecce nova facio omnia.
This phrase definitely caught my attention this past year. Compared to the turmoil of
2023 and the reboot that was
2024, I am finding more hope as the end of the Jubilee Year of Hope approaches. While it is still a matter of "God, I hope in you; increase my hope", I am still taking steps toward a better me and a better life.
The jobs are still the same, thank God. But there have been changes elsewhere, changes that are part of my path to becoming more whole. Visible as they were, they were the highlights of the past twelve months.
This Is The (New) Place
After a year of renting a room in a house, I was beginning to want a place of my own. While this living arrangement was a much more affordable option, a desire for more privacy was becoming evident, despite the fact I rarely interacted with the other renters.
I was willing to bide my time in order to save enough for a security deposit and first month rent. However, something was brought to my attention that called for a change of plans. A two week search in late February lead me to an option I had originally considered in 2023. And with the first month rent free, I couldn't let the opportunity pass.
I now live in a two bedroom, one and one-half bath apartment in a subsidized federal housing unit for people with low to middle incomes who are 55 years of age and older. While I had to pay for two month rent at the other place to get out of that lease, my new living quarters are meeting my needs. (I soon will be signing another lease that will keep me there until next January.)
"New" Roommates
Why did I do this? Lost in the saga that is Catherine Garcia's battle with a brain tumor were the pets still at her house. The German Shepherd that belonged to her youngest daughter found a new home in Albuquerque, NM where her future mother-in-law lives. But there were two other four-legged creatures whose future was in doubt.
These two were the cats still part of scene. Catherine was having problems taking care of them, so I was coming over when I could to help. After Catherine was admitted to a long-term re-habitation facility, I visited them six day a week to make sure they were adequately fed and watered as well as cleaning the litter box. Then I was informed someone had notified the county's Animal Care and Control Department about their situation. There was no was I was going to surrender them; while both of the cats are in good health, they were both approaching 16 years of age and I feared they would not be adoptable and be candidates for euthanasia.
Not on my watch. So once I signed the lease to the new place (which does allow for pets), a co-worker helped me get them ready for their new digs, which involved licensing and vaccinations. They are now with me. While there have been some health issues with each of them this past fall, they are both happy in their new locale.
And I am happy to have them for as long as we all shall live.
All My Favorite Things
The extra bedroom became my new storage unit in March for my belongings in Utah. But there still was the unit back in Minnesota where the rest of my things were. Once again, I started formulating a plan; this one, to retrieve them ASAP. Budgeting for a rental van, gasoline, lodging, and food was simple and straightforward.
The question was when to go. The answer was in mid-October, when school was not in session, thus not compromising any opportunities to substitute as a crossing guard. Once I secured a pet sitter, I was on my way.
The itinerary was clear cut as well. It would be a round trip of under 2,400 miles split into three days, with a motel in Wall, SD being a base camp. Fortunately, I still travel well. Driving 11-12 hours each day was not a problem. The biggest obstacle was getting into the storage unit, where the use of a bolt cutter was needed to "unlock" a rusted shut lock. After two and one-half hours of loading the van, I left the city I had called home for 14 years (and where this 'blog started) for the last time.
On the third day, I was back at the apartment around 7:00 PM. I had asked some of my co-workers before I left for help unloading, but communication issues that day left me without assistance. It took me almost five hours to get everything inside.
Despite the inconveniences, thing went well. I am now in the process of sorting and discarding items I don't want or need. It has been interesting to discover things I didn't remember I had. It is also becoming a challenge to to dissolve the emotional attachment to my worldly possession. But one cannot receive anything with your hands in a fist, gripping to items which have no more usefulness or value. One must open their heart, which then will open your hand.
Both the winnowing and opening are still works in progress.
Working On The Motto
I am still seeing my mental health professional, mostly when I can afford it. (I have changed my company's health insurance plan to one where it will help pay for these sessions, staring in January.) The fact that we can comfortably introduce our shared Catholic faith into these sessions has provided a much more stable cornerstone upon which to build.
The "Go Forward" line has been drawn. No more dwelling on the past, no more "what if", no more looking over my shoulder. The focus will be on the here and now and working to "let go and let God".
It all hinges on a question asked earlier this year, "Will you let God love you?" Will I begin to embrace Who He really is, in spirit and truth?
That leads to the "Be Bold" part. I need to ask for more courage, more surrender, more openness, more commitment, more honestly discerning what is His will for me. Like St. Peter, I am asked to walk on water. How much faith do I really have, both in God and me?
This 2+2 equals the "Reclaim Me" outcome. This is where the self-doubt must die, the self-loathing cease, the negativity stops. The titanium wall must fall.
To be continued.
What's Next
I make no predictions for 2026. I make no resolutions (or in the popular and current vernacular, intentions--just remember what road is paved with those). What I have is what I have upon which to build.
The status quo has changed somewhat. It is not a new normal, but what I hope is the continuation of, as author Matthew Kelly has written, becoming the best version of me. It is nothing less than what God wants.
Do I want it as well?
Let's let this story continue.
Go Forward. Be Bold. Reclaim Me.
God is calling.
Ecce nova facio omnia.
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